InsaneJournal

Current mood:	contemplative
Entry tags:	desire to move, ky, life the univese and everything, plans, visiting

Because I Feel Like Writing
I rarely feel like putting anything out there for public consumption anymore. Part of that is that I don't feel I have to. Most of my friends have gotten to be 'closer' to home. And by closer I mean one state away as opposed to several. I am planning on moving to KY within the next six months. There are several reasons for this. Not the least of which is that I never intended to be in C-Bus this long. I stayed because I wanted to be here for my kids, so they would know I was here, no matter what. But my ex-husband worked at ways of excluding me from their lives even though I was here, which has been made clear to me over and over again through the years. I won't go into details as it is petty and stupid and obviously public. Needless to say, when my youngest son goes off to college he will no longer be living in C-Bus and my last major reason for living in this town will be gone.

I have spent the past several(around four)years making inroads in KY, and I have a lot ties there. I feel very at home there and I want out of this burg. End of story. So anyone who wants to keep me here for personal reasons can forget it. I know this sounds extremely petty and very selfish and in many ways it is. But the truth is, that I need to leave my past behind me in very visceral way and most of it has happened here. Good and bad. The urge to move has been pushing me for some time. So I'm going to give in to it. End of story. I am still young enough to enjoy the process, though I think I'm old enough to realize the repercussions. I know that life is what it is and you can't run away from your problems, I'll be taking a lot of b.s. with me, you can't get it out of your heart and your head. Though there are a lot of things that will stay here, in the name(s)of people I won't have to see or deal with directly(or even indirectly)anymore, and that is a large part of the point of the exercise.

KY is not so far away that I won't be able to come back and see friends who I am close with once in a while using Greyhound,nor will they be unable to come and see me once in a blue moon. So, yeah. I'm sure all this seems reactionary, but it's not, really, it's who and what I am. When I look back on my needs and desires, then I realize how much this will fulfill a lot of them.

I'm going back for another visit in July which will probably be harder to come back to C-Bus from, but I'll make it. I'm probably going to be doing a lot of traveling back and forth in the interim. yup.