Wolffe's Ways

I moved all the big stuff to Ky. It was hard. I'm now in the cleaning the house phase. This includes trying to sell furniture I had no place to store in Ky. Of such that means at this time an Antique Vanity and a very big dresser. Whoever buys them will have to move them on their own as I don't have the kind of resources to do it. Other than that it's work, work, work. I had double vision twice this week and vertigo once. I have lost ten pounds due to the amount of labor I've been doing. I want out of this town. I love those who are my friends here but I want out. I have two drs. appointments coming up. And after that ... I'll be gone from here by end of August. I owe UHAUL $30 and I am working on getting that together. That's about the size of things. Sorry for not being around more right now but I'm just working really, really hard people.

Holidays are, by definition Holy Days. We kind of tend to forget this and think more about celebrating with friends and family a lot of the time, but I think it's important to keep the Holy aspect in mind. It is true that friends and family being present makes them much,much more enjoyable and in many cases it's not even conceivable to celebrate a holiday alone simply due to lack of motivation or depression. Years ago I was between Kindreds and I had been celebrating Yule alone for several years. It became more and more difficult to do so, and that was something that really amazed me because I had never really thought of myself as a "Yule" type before... But as I went along in my practice, as I became more serious about every aspect of it, I began to see each holiday as being important and it really weighed on me. My partner at the time, was not even pagan much less heathen but due to the fact that he saw my plight he found a public Yule rite not far from our home. I went to it and saw how differently I viewed Yule from the general public. To me, it's much more solemn, though joyous, and I felt out of place. As time has gone on, I think that this has been pretty much my attitude in general to most of the holidays.

I think that part of the reason for my attitude toward the holidays is that when I started to practice Heathenry, it was just me and the person who brought me in, so we played down the holiday aspect to things a great deal and it was almost a 'just another day' type of deal with recognition that the holiday(s) did exist. I was not highly educated as to the meaning of each of the holidays in and of themselves. It was not until several years later, when we became friends with another Heathen who was studying for her gydhia license that I began to really understand what the holidays were about entirely. At that time we founded a Kindred together and I began to learn from her what the basics were. We were still pretty small as Kindreds go, and we didn't do great big things for the holidays, everything was very organic and everyone had something to do in creation of the blots which I think means a lot. My sense of the holidays was joyful, but still muted a bit by the amount of work that went into the Kindred, especially as I was the primary person to host events which meant lots of cooking and cleaning. For me holidays were rooted in work, which to me kind of rings true for the way I was raised too come to think of it. Togetherness and work with joy and reverence to me that's really what holidays are about.

Of course each holiday has it's own particular definition and meaning, that is a fact and something we should be attentive to. But in some respects I think that it is the excuse for people to gather together, and that this was most likely especially so in times past. Because the Gods and the spirits of the land as well as the ancestors were a part of each individual's every day life, they were conscious of them in a way we no longer are. Now we use the Holiday(s)as an excuse to worship,rather than as an excuse to gather. Kind of backward thinking if you ask me. But we are what we are,society changes and with it our conscious choices.


One holiday that I think most people do not give nearly enough credit to, is the Charming of the Plow.It is at this time that the tools for the year are blessed so that they can allow for productive work throughout the year. Many people consider this purely to be an agricultural holiday and thus sweep it under the carpet and kind of ignore it, but I have used it to bless supplies for crafting,writing and so forth and it has done quite well by me. I think anyone who looks at this as an opportunity to look within themselves and find that which drives them can benefit greatly from celebrating this with great sincerity.

Is the Pagan/Heathen Wheel of the Year artificially created? Most likely it is, but it works. It gives us pause that we would not take otherwise. ( There are holidays that have more or less meaning for me than others. )

I have talked a lot about being a recreationist to various friends who are close to me. And I think most people probably wonder what the heck it is that this means exactly to me. Does it mean that I go around trying to wear the garb of times past when I do ritual/blot/faining, for example? Or do I feel driven to learn the language(s)of the cultural sphere(s)I am trying to work within? Do I feel completely bound by the lore, without any latitude for personal interpretation or gnosis? How does one make being a recreationist manifest in your life?
( some thoughts on heathenry and recreationism in general )

( major changes in my life. probably some big surprises for folks. )

I rarely feel like putting anything out there for public consumption anymore. Part of that is that I don't feel I have to.( talking about my plans within the next few months. )

( Catching folks up on where I've been, yet again. Kentucky and Pow Wows. The past and present meet. )

Mint,Orange Peel,and Calendula
with Mint and Orange Oils
in Sweetened Honey base
with Stearic Acid(a hardner)

(any mold really)

Lavender,Tea Tree,Ecucalyptus,and Orange oils
With Comfry and Lavender
In Aloe and Olive oil base
with stearic acid(a hardner)

Honeycomb mold

( there's a ton of stuff under here so beware and enter at your own risk. uh huh. )

Ok people here's the deal. You think you have a hard time with life? Guess what? It's not all that easy for me. My life is going a mile a minute. So guess what? If you have some issue you want dealt with, if you want a reading, if you want to hang out or whatever, we can do that. But you have to communicate with me if you aren't going to make it. Because I don't sit around forever, I don't hang my life on other people anymore. I'm not doing it. Because I have a lot going on and very few people bothering to find out what's at the root of it all. And if you aren't bothering to find out what's at the root of it. If you aren't part of the solution and then wonder where you've been when I've moved on, then that's not my fault. I'm living, working and working hard. I have almost no spare time anymore, my life is built around schedules. I see a counselor twice a month, I see a psychiatrist and I take my medication and work my program. I am on a path to staying stable and being the best I can be. Maybe that will include you and maybe it won't that's up to you and only you. But if you want it to be,be here; 'Cause I'm a freight train going down the tracks and they only go one way right now, forward I'm not looking back.

Went to the Viking Festival yesterday... It was rockin' yes it was. We saw belly dancers, which made me miss the days I used to belly dance big time. Walked around a LOT and talked to people... I bid in a silent auction which is something I've never done before and now I'm on pins and needles waiting to see if I get what I bid on. I'll find out later today I guess... I only bid $15 so it's doubtful, but we shall see... It was a club that was hand carved with a relief of Odin in it... And so very cool. Yeah. Can you say WANT? I sure can. I met some folks who were selling those horns you blow into and get a nice sound out of(made from a cow horn)and traded soap for one. I'm going to give it to Daniel for his b-day. I just thought another instrument would be cool. Hopefully he'll think so too. It was one of those, why not kind of things... Got myself some earrings. It's nice having the shorter hair that earrings show up better with. Ran into people who I like(The D's from the Kindred) and saw though avoided people I didn't like(Lonnie).All in all it was a terrific day. No sunburn to be reported, though at one point my eyelids felt burnt(this happens to me sometimes though nothing else will get it don't ask why). I got TONS of compliments on my amber necklaces since I put them all on and ambered it out. People kept asking if I worked at the amber booth. Yeah right... When they found out it was just my own collection they were impressed and rightfully so. Also took drinking horns to drink from. Because I'm just that much of a badass Heathen. Yup.Oh it was an adventure as always. Yup. :D I can't wait til next year. You bet.

As time has gone by. For a variety of reasons. Mainly it seems like I end up being criticized for my content by people who get a hair up their ass as to what I have a right to say. Which bugs me. This is not recent but an explanation for why I have written less and less over the past several months. I'm trying to force myself to get back into the habit of actually writing again and it is not an easy thing. I even have taken to being a rather bad penpal for which I am rather embarrassed. It seems most of my close friends these days talk to me whether in person, in chat, or on the phone. But because I know that there are those who do want to keep up with the warp and weft of my life, I will work hard at getting back into the journaling habit.

( what a busy day wednesday was... dare you look behind the cut? )

I'm going to be going to visit my friend D and his family from Wed. May 13th-Wed May 20th ! Go me, go us!!! :D Yippee!

So yesterday was one of the busier days I've had of late which says a lot.
First the repair guy from AT&T came and irritated the living daylights out of me. Then A came to talk Norse Mythology and RPGing. How those go hand in hand can be interesting... He was a half hour late again. I told him if he can't be on time not to come because I am a very busy woman. End of story. Yes, I am that brutal sometimes but I have to be. I wanted to get in contact with the Resource Center and find out if I could hold my Study Groups there rather than here at the house so I can open them to the public. I was going to actually go there... But instead settled for calling. While he was here actually. Which was nice because I had someone to celebrate with when they said yes! I have an appointment to go in tomorrow and sign a contract stating it is for non-profit purposes etc. Go me! Then bardchild came over and stayed the night... She called while I was in the process of making dinner. I made a rather nice dinner to celebrate the whole thing with the Resource Center. Chicken Breasts,Potatoes,&Onions in Vegetable Broth, followed by sweet kraut. monkeyman came home and asked me to make him a batch of cookies... Well actually paid me to make him a batch of cookies. So I baked cookies for him. Then we all did blot. Wow! What a day. By the time the day was over I totally collapsed in bed. I slept like there was no tomorrow(or today?)and dreamed of beautiful things that I don't even think I want to try and articulate. But life is good and all is well with the world. Yup.

Did I mention that yesterday was my youngest son's 18th b-day? Yup it was, and the anniversary of me changing my name legally. So I also called him up at 7pm and wished him a Happy B-Day. Yippee!

Ok so everyone who knows me knows that I like to roleplay when I get the opportunity, and that I almost never get the opportunity which kind of sucks. Yup. Well I ran into an old(and I mean old as in at least 12 or more years ago) friend of mine a few weeks back... He's putting together his own role playing game. Go him. :D And he needs someone to bounce ideas off of and use to be a ready source of (fairly)accurate Norse Lore. So... We now have a weekly date for pizza and what have you.... Because you know that RPGers live by pizza. Hopefully when all is said and done, we'll have a halfway decent game come from it all and have had a damn good time in the process. Yup,yup.

I knew it was coming, but yeah... I got asked why I don't support the get on board the bus with the AFA for our own headstone project... And I was honest and forthright. I figure that it is going to be censored completely or in large part. Once that happens no more Fyrnsidu for me. I won't stay in such a circumstance. Not to mention I won't really stay in an organization that wants to get in bed with the AFA anyway.

( my response. which amazingly posted without being edited or censored, though I still think I ought to leave. )

( The official rundown of my life, be prepared for a lot of stuff happening. )

Ok, ultimately, should Eugenics be practiced I have to vote no. Why you ask? Because it interferes with free will. Frankly, given the choice of natural selection the idiots will breed themselves to extinction. It's that we find ways of furthering them that causes the take over of the idiotic. But Eugenics? That stinks of Nazism. Now this is not going to be a popular post. On either side. But, Shit happens. Last week I got into a epic fight with someone very important to me. Over this very stupid subject and this is my final word on it. End of story. And yes I know, I sound like a bitch, guess what folks, sometimes I really am one.

bardchild has been over most of the day and we've been making Hermit Cookies to take with us to the Pagan Discussion Group this evening. Now realize that I never go to stuff like this as I don't move much in the general pagan world, but she's been at me for a couple of months now so I caved... Besides this month's discussion is on Polyamory Vs. Monogamy, so I think going to shake things up a bit would be amusing to say the least... Yup,yup. The decision to make Hermits was kind of a joke in and of itself, making fun of the Hermetic Path type deal... But still being generous enough to bring munchies. Yup.'-) after all I gotta have a little sense of humor about things, and I doubt many people there will get it. If they do good for them.

Early in the day was not so fun, as I had to deal with repair person #2 in 2 days. But that should be over for a minute I hope. We shall see what we shall see..

For now the cookies are cooling, most of the dishes are done, and I'm about to get a shower. Yup.

Oh yes, we did invoke Sif and Frigga during the baking as a way of thanking Them. I think it made the cookies better... We didn't burn a single one. Go us~